


Never had a Chance

by JayceCarter



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Angry Sex, Angst, Betrayal, F/M, Fallout Prompt Monday, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 08:56:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13232376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayceCarter/pseuds/JayceCarter
Summary: Some things can't be forgiven. Some hurts run too deep. After Deacon betrays Nora, she finds that even love isn't enough to fix it.





	Never had a Chance

**Author's Note:**

> A group I'm in is doing prompts every Monday. Here is the first one:
> 
> "I never had a chance, did I?"

 

“I never had a chance, did I?” Nora stared at the floor of her place in Diamond City, though the floor had long disappeared. Instead of aged wooden planks, fire swam in her mind, the bright light that had lit up the sky just as the sun had set. The destruction of the Institute played on loop. 

“It had to happen.” Deacon spoke with the same confidence he always had, the brave front that was bullshit.

“Why? Because of your fucking game?”

“It’s not a game. It’s the future of the Commonwealth.”

Nora stood and shoved Deacon, her heart pounding. “What about my future? Why did I have to give up everything again? How could you have played me this whole time?”

The rest of Diamond City would probably hear her. Thin wooden walls kept no secrets, but fuck, Nora didn’t care. Let them hear. Let them have a first-row seat to her devastation.

Deacon, her rock, her chance at a real life, had played her the entire time. Every smile, every sweet word, every kiss, they were just part of his mission.

Part of his chance to get into the Institute and blow it up, along with her son. He’d used her. He'd told her he loved her, played the part of being on her side, and then betrayed her the moment he saw his chance. 

Deacon grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her against him. He didn’t kiss her, just hauled her against his chest and wrapped his arms around her to keep her pinned, like he could hold her together. “I’m not going to lie to you, Charmer. I’m not sorry I did it, but I’m sorry I hurt you.”

The sorrys burned. She pulled back, unable to stand his touch. “Fuck you! You took my son from me; you took everything from me!”

“You would trade the future of the Commonwealth for the monster who was destroying it? You’d turn your back on every synth we saved?”

She drug her fingers through her hair so hard a few pieces yanked free. “I was going to be the Director. I could have helped them.”

“You couldn’t have. You think the whole Institute would change just because of a title a dead man gave an outsider? Shaun was going to die anyway, and you wouldn’t have been able to make a single change. We had to do this, had to act while we had the chance.”

She turned her back on him, unable to see his face, to see herself reflected in his glasses. So many happy months together. Stolen kisses and moments in the dark. “Was it all a lie?” Her voice cracked.

Hands set on her shoulders to turn her, but she closed her eyes.

Deacon’s soft voice blew warm air over her forehead. “No. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you, but I couldn’t help it. None of that was a lie.”

“And I’m supposed to believe you? Maybe you’re just seeing what else you can get out of me. Sorry, Agent Deacon, I’m fresh out of friends for you to fuck over.”

His lips brushed hers, his hands going to her cheeks. He whispered between the kisses. “You know I love you. Every time we’re together, you know it. I know you do.” His voice chipped away her anger.

That was the thing with Deacon, though. He might carry a sniper rifle, but his words always proved the real threat. He could convince anyone of anything if they let him talk.

And Nora was so damned tired of talking.

She wrapped her arms around him, nails digging past his shirt and into his back. Her lips changed the kiss from the soft question Deacon’s had been. Fuck soft. Fuck sweet. He’d ruined that between them.

Now? There was only anger, pain, and betrayal.

His groan escaped his lips and she devoured it, that edge of pain from her nails. Still, he grasped her ass and hoisted her up so her legs wrapped around him.

They fell onto the bed together, Deacon matching each frantic movement of her body. She yanked at his shirt so he pulled it off. He slipped his fingers into hers, but she knocked his hands away.

She wouldn’t let him get beneath her skin. Inside her was fine, but she’d never let him touch anything deeper again. Couldn’t trust him, couldn’t forget.

Nora pulled her own pants off, hips lifting to press against him, neither willing to pull back even an inch. An inch would give her time to think and him time to manipulate. 

Deacon removed his own pants, stripping down until nothing but heat and regrets sat between them. She could lose herself in the familiar motions.

Deacon’s long fingers ghosted over her, his lips on her collarbone, his cock against her thigh. It was like all the nights they'd spent wrapped up in each others. Deacon's smile, his stupid jokes, the way he'd hold her close. All that threatened to come back.

Still, her eyes remained closed. Those eyes, the ones no one else ever saw, the ones he only showed to her, she couldn’t see them. She’d shatter if she had to see them.

His cock pressed against her, his forehead against hers. “Look at me, Nora.”

Her real name. He never used her real name. It crawled across her skin like a spider.

She shook her head.

He offered kisses to her cheeks, her nose, her chin like tiny acts of worship. “Please, just look at me.”

But she couldn’t. Partly because she wasn't strong enough and partly because she wanted to deny him something he wanted. Nora wrapped a leg around his hip, her other foot planted on the mattress so she could lift her hips. It caused him to slide into her, and the sharp intake of breath said he hadn’t expected it.

Deacon set his hand on her thigh, hiking it up before he set a pace. He stopped arguing with her, his breath quickening.

Good. Silence is what she needed. When he was silent, she could focus, she could hold her anger close to her, could remind her why she could never love him again.

She could resist his hands, his lips, his cock. Those things she could hate, could refuse to fall for. His voice? His eyes? Too tempting.

She came because Deacon wasn’t the type of man to let her not come. Maybe it was a further testament to her own anger, but her thighs had tightened around his hips, her head fallen back, and her nails left deep scratches down his back as she’d come like so many times before.

He came shortly after, though he didn’t move off her right away.

No, his hands went back to her cheeks, thumbs rubbing away the tears that had escaped from the corners of her closed eyes.

He rolled off her when she refused to look at him. Neither spoke, and the silence turned to sleep, at least for him.

Nora slid from the bed, silent as he’d taught her to be. He'd taught her a lot of lessons, a lot of things she wished she'd never learned. 

He slept, sunglasses discarded on the nightstand, tiny scars from face swaps visible on his jaw and temple. The man she needed to hate, the one who had stolen so much from her, the liar who had manipulated her for months. 

The man she knew she'd always love.

She dressed, then gathered her things. One last look over her shoulder before she left for good broke her heart.

“I never had a chance, did I?”


End file.
